The Gay Agenda

Never Straight, but Always Forward 

I want to start this feature with one simple guttural sound: oof.

Things have been super exhausting (still) across the board between all of the recent attacks against Roe vs Wade, Ukraine and Russia, rising gas prices along with literally everything else, and and and to infinity. The list of inequities, injustices, tragedies, discrimination, etc. is long, but today I want to touch on an issue you've maybe heard rumblings of and aren't entirely sure what is meant or why it is a thing you're hearing and seeing everywhere.

So, have you heard the catch phrase "Don't Say Gay" floating around? Well, whether you have or not, it's in response to a law introduced and passed in Florida (Surprise, Surprise). A snippet of the language is as follows:

Classroom instruction by school personnel or third parties on sexual orientation or gender identity may not occur in kindergarten through grade 3 or in a manner that is not age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students in accordance with state standards."

Now, on the face of it, especially with the above underlined sentence, this might not seem severe. However, most education around sex, sexuality, gender, etc. from the comprehensive sex education lens, is in fact AGE APPROPRIATE.

Here is an outline on what age-appropriate comprehensive sex education actually means.

I'll give you a clue though: it doesn't mean teaching 5-year-olds about how to put on a condom and STDs or about Leather Daddies. 

Bills like Florida's Don't Say Gay automatically sexualize all non-hetero (ie LGBTQ+ ) relationships and orientations. It might seem counterintuitive, as it has the word "sex" in the name BUT sexual orientation and attraction do not inherently mean sexual activity. 

However, Florida isn't alone in its imperial march toward a restrictive and dangerous anti-lgbtq death star, I mean legislation.

Between 2020 and 2021, Texas introduced more than 40 anti trans bills. 

The anti-trans rhetoric about participation in sports based on identity vs sex assigned at birth was reignited recently with Lia Thomas - and some states are revisiting their policies.

The onslaught is constant against LGBTQ+ folks, especially trans folks. The Trevor Project saw a 150% increase in calls to their suicide hotline during this same period of time. 

LGBTQ+ folks are more likely to commit suicide, and this is even higher amongst trans individuals. Gender dysphoria is very real and has major consequences when folks are not given access to resources, services, and simple visibility. 

This is another issue in regard to the vagueness of the legislation being pushed: the impact this could have on LGBTQ+ teachers. If a parent can sue a teacher for teaching their child something that is "age inappropriate", and queerness is associated with sexual, illicit, pornographic and inherently taboo – how does a teacher who is gay safely navigate their classrooms? It creates even more dangerous and difficult obstacles for that teacher. The reversal of Roe vs Wade also adds another hole in the armor that protects gay marriage.  

How does Florida and its legislature define what is considered age inappropriate exposure to queerness? The vagueness of the bill creates this uncertainty on what is "too much": Is it when a teacher wears a rainbow sweater? Talking about their same sex or nonbinary spouse? Is it them having a LGBTQ+ flag in their classrooms or front yard? I try to avoid the "It's a slippery slope” comparison, but in this instance legislation like this is creating a space where visibility becomes even more dangerous than it already is and has been, especially for trans folks. We're already experiencing a teacher shortage but this will only serve to drive more folks out of teaching. 

Diversity is important for many reasons, but a quote that stands out to me is from Brené Brown: 

"One of the signature mistakes with empathy is that we believe we can take our lenses off and look through the lenses of someone else. We can’t. Our lenses are soldered to who we are. What we can do, however, is honor people’s perspectives as truth even when they’re different from ours. That’s a challenge if you were raised in majority culture—white, straight, male, middle-class, Christian—and you were likely taught that your perspective is the correct perspective and everyone else needs to adjust their lens. Or, more accurately, you weren’t taught anything about perspective taking, and the default" 

We can never fully know someone else's experiences, and we cannot assume to know what is best for others. It is only through diversity, representation, the ability to be authentic, and have a voice in decision making that we truly can move toward a diverse and inclusive society. Silencing queers is not the answer. 

Laws like Florida's Don't Say Gay Bill or Alabama's copy cat attempt to introduce legislation that is literally its version of "Wait, hold my beer" where it one-ups Florida in an attempt to outlaw and criminalize gender affirming medications for trans kids are very similar tactics that are and were used to chip away at the protections of Roe V Wade. Many do not get passed, but enough do to have negative long term consequences. Additionally, it creates an environment of constant attacks on LGBTQ+ folks and Allies. We operate from a place of scarcity and defensive tactics and it is EXHAUSTING. It makes it hard to continue to rally, to fight, to exist. 

I know many of us have heard that “voting doesn’t matter” that politicians and the government will do what it wants regardless of how we vote – and while it might feel true it is important to remember that we aren’t entirely helpless. That feeling of hopelessness is a tactic commonly used to disenfranchise folks and keep us from truly challenging the system. The presidential election every four years is not the only election we need to be participating in. Our senators and representatives are just as important as they are the folks responsible for proposing and supporting legislation. This isn’t to say that I think the system isn’t rigged at all, gerrymandering and voter suppression efforts are very real; however, I am a firm believer in the use of both activism AND advocacy.

One way I differentiate between these two terms is that activism is work toward changing a system from the outside where advocacy is often work done within a system. This might not match everyone’s definition, but for me it is how I navigate our current political climate: I will vote in every election I am able to while also hoping for revolution. I may be a queer woman, but at the end of the day I am a straight passing white cis woman – it is not me who stands to necessarily lose the most, but it is my community, my friends, my family, and our collective loved ones who are most at risk.

Our black trans neighbors are amongst the most vulnerable and we must do our due diligence to ensure the current US political system cannot abuse them more than it already has. It is not new that the black vote has saved many elections over the years, nor is it new that we as white folks expect black and brown folks to fix the system that is responsible for abusing them. Voting is the least we can do to protect our most vulnerable, abused, and marginalized. We vote so folks can live to see another day until the Rebel Alliance can make its stand. 

Until next time, lovelies. Take care of yourselves.