Best Friend Love Poem #2

For Kelly, after Frank O’Hara

i woke up and i could NOT wait to tell you 

O that the sun was so hot already but not too hot 

and i slept lastnight with out my air conditioner so the softie breath 

of the day, that true air of the day already touched my face this morning 

and O my god the cat at my feet where he sleeps now every day it’s like 

he’s totally telling me he loves me and i woke up to the groupchat humming 

!!! already with plans for the beach and when i think of the beach it’s all 

pleasure and wet joy and crunchy melting salami and i started to write this

my head the beach is a poem and the groupchat is a FUCK-ING poem those little hearts

that you can react with those are POEMs and when Gillian says

boys good morning a poem and even though my head is poundingpoundingpounding

cuz we drank a lot of wine last night i hop out of bed and put on a bathing suit like

okay OK ok look at my body and it looks pretty good even though my skin’s peeling off my calves

a little okay ok OKAY my body looks pretty good and that’s a poem and when i walk

into the kitchen and i remember that i set the coffee pot timer last night so babie !!!! i had coffee

ready when i woke up !!! and because i know myself (another reason i couldn’t wait

to tell you) i set it for so early, 8-o-clock-early, and the coffee was finally the perfect temp

pre-luke-warm which is how I like it but not so cold that the milk and oils

get too fat and chalky on my tongue perfect I swear to fucking god i love when i d o g o o d

4 me !!! feeels fucking cool to do and then you know babie, you know what happens

at 11:45 darkness descends but like william styron it’s Visible from the moment i open

my eyes it’s a cloud in the corner of my bedroom and i worry it could coil around me or hurt the

kitty but another thing that i s o h g o d i don’t feel alone today usually i am alone but for the cat and you

sometimes even when i’m at the bar or party or beach or the bar or party or beach or the bar or

party or beach or the bar or party or beach or the bar or party or beach or the bar or party or beach or

when we lay around together in bed babie i get so alone but hahahahahahahahahaha HA

lmao i know i’m not alone today and i went to the forest mini mart on wilson avenue and they had-my

favorite seltzer, tangerine right on the top of the stack and it was nice and cold and then i

almost bought some beer but heard my own voice saying babie you have beer at home, and isn’t it better

yoU would say sometimes SOMETIMES to save your cash ??? to say yes-of-course to desires

leaking out our ears but to act like a camp counselor for those desires and give them yarn to make knots

keep their sticky fingers all occupied making lanyards and BABIE the tex-ture of those

flat rubber ribbons at summer CAMP when you would bite them to cut them a po-em after making the

box or winding staircase the bounce on your teeth another thing i’vee been dreaming to tell you

and i had pineapple at home and even though it was a little old, the yellow cubes browned the juice

a fat sticky syrup (which made me think of the cum thing a little bit) it tasted good

actually, with my yogurt and granola and i had the 2% yogurt as a treat and i know that’s a little

scarsdale diet (Virginia-Slim-Chablis-black-coffee-Betty-Draper-egg-white-omelet) but

it felt like a treat Actually, and the groupchat still and dinging a poem and babie you said you w-

ere on your way to the C train already and feeling the sheet of glass O unpreparedness crash

over me but even that is a good feeling sometimes outside my window there’s construction but it sounds

like the ice machine actually the fat true cubes KOOL DRAFT? Or KOLD with a K when you

dig the scoop really deep into the pool of ice and it’s the first scoop and it hits the bottom

of the ice bucket in absolute dramatics actually and the saw sounds like my vibrator actually

and babie i couldn’t wait to tell you is-n’t i t s o o o o o o o o o o o o ooooo wild actually

that these things sound so similar hah! it’s like having a glass of wine and you’re like o

O i get it now finally why People say Tobacco or mineral-LY lick-ING slate or cherry

Luden’s cough drops or asphalt when it is raining i’m doing tasting notes of schaefer street

sounds frank sounds crowded our neighborhood and babie i couldn’t fucking WAIT TO TELL YOU

Hahahah and i could do that about my own poems toooo you know, this is ecstatic-static-beloved-

moonheart but also goD-if-i don’t-always-sound-like frank o’hara because I COULDN’t

wait to tell you !!!! which is why i am telling you and you know what having a coke ZERO

wit-h you was my best day and last night when U said hahah HA don’t i always ask you

what happened next in the big book of my life and wow do you not look like a better happier

Well hahahaha you know the line ( i think ) and it’s like i woke up and i literally just could NOT wait

to tell you n there is some thing S O M E T H I N G about this day i can hear seagulls but like

gentle you know and they’re telling me babie GET TO THE BEACH and even though i feel sad

and like death comes tomorrow sometimes or this after NOON and i sometimes feel like

i’ll simply

fucking

die

if i get on the express train or pick the wrong flavor of Quadratini cookies if i do my errands

in the worst order simply fucking DIE if i don’t walk back 9 blocks to my long hallway

of an apartment and make sure the stove is turned off that i will die because i got a D in cellular

biology in undergrad NINE years ago or i’ll die because i didn’t cook dinner last night

that i will simply F U C K I N G die because i left too late to be on time and every evil i’ve everdone

comes whipping around ME i know that i will die because i didn't go to the protest and i was

scared of the cops and Because i PROMISED (myself hahahahahhhhhhhhah) that i would mop the whole

house but i just watched housewives (didn’t even READ) and sometimes because of this i know

that i will die but today THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT TODAY AND THE PROMISE thick

sea air and the two almost c o m p l e t e s h i v e r s 1st when the A train crests above ground at

80th street-boyd ave and 2nd the long stretch between JFK and broad channel when on the train we

Crest the channel and it feels inches an inch a-bove the water and we slide by the private islands

Of gulls and cormorants and heron after heron after heron after heron and some night herons as well

i just could not !!! can not wait to tell you how it feels to see the birds AND to scoop my paw

up under the sand AND feel the living-NESS of the sand crab AND you babie like i said my better

happier st. sebastian i just woke up goooooooooood morningggggggg AND could not WAIT

TO TELL YOU how it feels to know i’ll be at the beach with you soon AND how it feels to know

i will not die today