Duly considered

I keep thinking about how
it would have been better
if we were drunk. But this was no
drunken impulse, no mistake made 

with brains half-muddled with
lust half-clouded with drugs,
this was pre-meditated,
measured, duly considered and still

still we decided to hurt them.
I wonder what it is we see
in each other that makes it seem
worth it.