A New Dad’s Playlist

So, I had the weirdest day I’ve had in a long time. We did some renovations to our new house with (check this): My fiancé, her daughter, her daughter’s father, her daughter’s half-sister, and my parents. The only song I could think of to play was “Family Affair” by Sly and the Family Stone. All I could think to follow that up was “Runnin’ Away” (also by Sly and the Family Stone). Coincidence? I think not.

I have mentioned in previous features that I have another daughter on the way. She’s due in July. Since, I can’t think for myself anymore, one of Olney’s co-editors gave me an idea: Write about the music you will introduce to your new child. I liked that idea, so I decided to use it. Keep in mind though that I play music in my home for most of my waking hours, so these choices are just the biggest ones for me.

Listening to music is probably my favorite thing to do. The first song I ever remember hearing was a live version of “Hey You” by Pink Floyd. My dad was playing it very loudly. It’s still one of my favorite songs. 

So, I want to tell a story about a song I introduced to Marli, my fiancé’s daughter, and essentially, my daughter, too. It was Coldplay’s “The Scientist.”

I’ve loved this song since I was a preteen. I wasn’t able to grasp the power of the lyrics at that age, but I felt the music in my soul. Back then, streaming was not the standard avenue for consuming music and downloading music was not quite… legal yet. So, asked my aunt to burn it on a CD for me. The only other song I remember asking her to get me was “Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes.

Over a decade later, “The Scientist” is still one of my favorite songs and now Marli is learning how to play the piano parts. We plan to dance to it in front of everyone I care about when I marry her mother. This is how I tend to think about music in my life, and why it’s so important to me--every song becomes entwined with memory. Without further introduction, here are the songs I will definitely introduce to my kid (non-exhaustive).

______

WOMB: “Hoppípolla” by Sigur Rós

I’ve already introduced this song to her. It was the first song I played on headphones placed on Kali’s stomach. One of the most wholesome and positive songs I’ve ever listened to. The title means “jumping in puddles” in Icelandic. This song is pure joy and it possesses energy that I want to pass onto my daughter.

NEWBORN: “Didn’t Leave Nobody But The Baby” by Alison Krauss, Emmylou Harris and Gillian Welch

The song is an old lullaby that’s been reinterpreted many times, notably in the film “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” You and me and the devil makes three don’t need no loving but the baby…

TODDLER: “I Want You Back” by Jackson 5

Best bass line ever written. I have always preferred young Michael over “grown up”Michael. His ability to convey such intense emotion at such a young age has always floored me, and this song is perfect an example of that. Plus, despite some rather saddening lyrics, the vibe of the song feels like pure joy. 

ALL AGES:

“Single Ladies” by Beyoncé

The first concert I ever attended was Christina Aguilera and Destiny’s Child. My aunt (the “fun aunt” I always called her) took me when I was just...a child (pun intended). Little did I know then that I was watching one of the singular best performers of a generation in her bloom. But my real reason for liking this song is that I don’t wish for my future daughter to ever date another human being. Plus, as Kanye West once said (about this song) while interrupting Taylor Swift, “Beyoncé had ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL TIME!”

“Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Aretha Franklin

First off, this song is just musically genius. It’s a masterpiece. The live versions are key though (Live at Fillmore West is the best). There’s a reason Aretha is considered one of the best to ever do it. The lyrics are profound and the musicality brings me to tears.

“Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley

I don’t need to explain this one.

“Stay” by The Dave Matthews Band

Many people would question my taste for picking a song by DMB--but I don’t care. Every member of the band is savant-like in their talents and this song displays that in such a carefree and fun way. It’s one of the first songs I play when Spring weather arrives. Dave Matthews haters are lying to themselves if they say they don’t enjoy it.

“White Walls” by Between the Buried and Me

Progressive metal may seem like an odd choice for Essential Songs To Show My Newborn, but my fiancée tells me that her first daughter loved listening to heavy metal as a baby. This song has always fascinated me. It’s from the album Colors, which is a wildly eclectic work of art. In fact, each song melds into the next, so it is best listened to in full. “White Walls” is the closing track. Its theme is that life is a canvas, and what you do with that canvas is how you’ll be remembered. Aside from the meaning of the song, the music itself is masterful. Fourteen minutes that range from brutal drumming, mountainous guitar riffs, spacey segues, virtuosic solos, and homages to multiple styles of rock music. If Nola is anything like her sister Marli, she’ll love it.

“Soul Mate” by Funkadelic

This is a pick for older teenage years, actually. There are some innuendos that probably shouldn’t be inferred by a child. Then again, like I said before, my dad introduced me to “Hey You” by Pink Floyd at a pretty young age, so maybe I’m wrong. I love this song for a number of reasons. Firstly, it’s just a wild depiction of romance. I say “wild” because George Clinton and his band are so damn weird. The song has such visceral lyrics complemented by ridiculous harmonies. Additionally, I love it because there’s a wonderful cover of the song performed by D’Angelo, one of my favorite artists. If I had to pick one genre to be stuck with on an island, it would be whatever genre Parliament-Funkadelic is.

“Hey Mama” by Kanye West

I’m not my child’s mother. But Kanye’s appreciation for his mother is inspirational. I want to do a good job parenting such that my children eventually feel the same way about me one day.

“Last Donut of the Night” by J Dilla

The song is short. Not even two minutes. There are no actual vocals. It’s just a hip hop beat. But it’s an incredible beat. One that rounds off my favorite album of all time. There’s a melancholy soul in it that only Dilla could make. I want to show her this song because I want her to love the whole album (Donuts).

ALL BEATLES ALBUMS

If I didn’t make it clear in my last contribution, I love the Beatles. There are so many life lessons to be taken from their music. I’m actually mad my father didn’t show me more Beatles music at a young age. I had to discover much of it on my own. The band’s musical evolution is mesmerizing and, believe it or not, “I am the walrus, coo-coo-ca-choo” is not their best lyric. 

So, you might be wondering, “What if your kid doesn’t care for any of these songs? What if their future taste is all stuff you hate??” Honestly, it wouldn’t bother me. Or it mostly wouldn’t bother me. My stepdaughter listens to some stuff I find to be abysmal and I listen to music my father finds abysmal.

And while I definitely think I have an understanding of what makes music good from an instrumental and tonal standpoint, even if it’s out of my typical wheelhouse, I will inevitably get to an age where I won’t understand the appeal of something new—from a stylistic or cultural standpoint. Because I’ll be too “old”.

I don’t suspect, however, I’ll have too much trouble bonding with my daughters over music. Just because two people don’t have identical tastes does not mean that they can’t enjoy anything together. And that’s what makes music, film, literature and hobbies fun. They are all better shared.