Completely free

On page 146 of my math textbook:

“We say that a graph is connected if you can get

from any vertex to any other vertex

along some path of the graph.”

I write dutifully in my notes:

“I am connected if I can get anywhere

from anywhere.” I like the idea of being connected.

Like the world is a lateral game

of chutes and ladders and I have a chute

that can slide me to any square, unnoticed,

when the squeeze of freedom becomes too wide

and I push back, claiming another blank square.

I read on:

“A graph that is not connected is called disconnected

and consists of at least two (maybe more)

separate ‘pieces’ we call the components.”

I don’t like the idea of being disconnected

but it sounds familiar. I am many many components

and the whole world is my board to explore laterally

and ladderly, isn’t the squeeze comforting?

At least two components keep me up at night:

The muffled rattle of knives in my sock drawer

and the accusing stare of my soul from the window.

What I wouldn’t give to be connected.

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Cover photo by Bernadetta Watts